1. |
Imposter
03:52
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You said you were the same person I knew,
You sold the part of me you saved, or gave it away,
But you changed from the one I know you were,
Or am I wrong?
To say the moon sings a lullaby to the night?
Or that the sun would express such profound love through its light?
Or that the dusk might leave you with nothing at all,
Or am I wrong?
To plead to the past you?
To see through the façade you want to display?
Leave me here,
Your voice is not the same,
Just run away from (can’t change a thing),
The you I need,
Now I see a face,
I can’t distinguish,
With mangled form and tortured gaze,
Where once there was a face I knew,
Tried to stay,
But can’t change a thing,
When you scorn those you deem weak,
It’s much too late to persuade you,
Since you don’t hear a thing,
I see a face I don’t recognize anymore,
I see a face I don’t recognize anymore,
Failing to be the same you I need,
I’m stuck in this place I don’t recognize anymore,
Hoping to see again the you I need.
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2. |
Heretical
03:37
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Order guide us,
Undone autonomy,
Relinquished volition,
To serve us,
You would rob us all,
The world so claimed to surely be,
Was merely an ideal,
But thoughts in vain,
With nothing done to impede,
The fate imposed,
From breaking into entropy,
Death is no longer bound to the Earth,
Order has failed us,
There is nowhere to hide from the sun,
It burns all it claims to serve,
In hallowed deed,
Void is seeping through,
Woven into view,
Severance of space,
Now bound no longer by the day,
No will shall govern me aside from my own,
I tread upon the path of heresy,
The heretical doctrine,
And cast aside this flesh to become one with the stars,
There’s nothing left to this mortal form,
I have left behind the shell of who I once was.
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3. |
Reflection
04:01
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I remember a long time ago,
So blissfully ignorant and hopeful,
I spared no time for thoughts of failure,
Nor mind for the paths that sat astride my own,
But now things are different,
And I can’t recall when I stopped looking forward in lieu of gazing upon the ground,
Perhaps I am looking whence I shall one day arrive,
For I spare no longer a will to be alive,
Yes, perhaps I long for rest,
No longer do I see out,
Beyond here,
Slowly withering to naught,
As the windows turn to mirrors,
No longer do I see,
Who I am in my reflection,
The world has taken it from me,
And now I only see nothing,
(Save for the stranger before me)
(I become no one)
As the outset of sonder relieves my sight of color,
(And die to the world)
It’s better this way,
To stay inside and grieve than face the sight of me,
For what do I erode so violently?
The radiance I knew has died in me,
If you’re still alive,
Just say something, say anything,
(I can’t feel anything),
If you’re still inside,
Would you let me know at all?
(It’s been so long since I felt alive),
If you’re still alive,
Just say something, say anything,
If you’re still inside,
Then help me see who I used to be again,
(Don’t leave me here)
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4. |
Muted
04:16
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Colors fade,
To muted grays,
It looks the same,
But feels so grave,
Like dying faith,
And seeds of doubt,
Now waxing,
Waning,
A fleeting tension and release,
A disease,
A feeling things will never be the same,
Like a dream,
In which the day turns to night,
For the last time,
And inexorably,
The light within you is consumed,
Vision subdued,
“It’s eating at me again,
A distant, decaying blithering of blithe echoes,
Spouting nonsense without care,
In a sequence like from an old movie,
“And spitefully does it yet reach my ears,
Words unaware of sorrow to come,
And of what it means to be truly alone,”
Self-disdain,
A way to elucidate misguided ways,
Or justify the feeling you’d be here either way,
Without a way to see hope or meaning in life,
You were never alone,
Just lost for sight,
Now waxing,
Waning,
A fleeting feeling of unease,
A release,
Distress succeeded shortly by a moment of peace,
In which you close your eyes,
For the last time,
Now, don’t cry,
It will all be fine,
You are loved by the world,
So shine, burn on,
Burn on,
Burn out.
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5. |
Useless
04:07
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Paralyzed,
Mired in mind,
I see the rot all the while,
Passing by and blind to plight,
I close my eyes,
It’s all going to be fine,
I’ve seen it all unfold before,
But all I know means nothing,
I’ve seen it all come crashing down,
But I can’t save anyone after all,
Perhaps in another life,
Could intrepidity see fit a place in me,
That I might find a means to be redeemed,
It seems to me to be,
That such nobility is lost for shame so easily,
But all the same, I yearn for it so,
A way to bring you home
A way to absolve my soul,
But I know of no way to save you now,
Resolve left me long ago,
You made it out of here,
But you left me here alone,
And it’s killing me,
But I can’t seem to put my hand out (to reach out),
Out in front of me,
As you’re drifting away,
I’ve seen it all unfold before,
And all I know is fucked,
We’re only ghosts,
Lost for saving,
We paid the toll to cross
But we’re lost all the same.
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6. |
Rot
03:34
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The pages turn now to the darker side,
To whence the tainted fate of all,
And how it retrogressed to entropy was first described,
Back to the way it all began for the thousandth time,
“Save us from all that plagues us,
O’ holy one above,
Our light has gone,”
The throat is pleading to the noose,
For it knows not its audience is suffocation,
O’ stifled child,
Impiety will but breed rot,
So foretold,
And so consummated,
The souls forlorn have taken the light and seen it cast away,
So the world now weeps, bound in its decay,
Though its cries meet only the ears of those succumbed to madness,
And all hope is but futility,
All prayers, but efforts of naivety,
O’ child who cast away thy light,
And slew thy flesh,
What now must come as the lands born to serve but wilt away?
Seek not your God,
Seek not salvation,
No grace awaits in what barren lands remain,
There is only rot and deterioration,
For the world may spare no longer its love for thee,
Breed rot, reap rot,
Breed rot, reap.
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hanami Tampa, Florida
hanami is what we do when the world becomes too heavy a burden to bear ///
to focus on something beautiful as a reminder that there is something for which it is worth to endure ///
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